tried to go to a place where i could find my faith.. got there, but was close.. so i went to a nice hilltop park and saw a great view of the city.. and a memorial park..

a question in mind.. “which spot would be great for me?” and i laughed at the idea..

went to dine and then played at the arcade.. had fun.. and when i was on my home, got reminded of the memorial.. or my reality.. of lost dreams.. of hopeless things..

back in my room.. pained.. tears.. finding a reason to move around.. clean my room.. do the laundry.. throw the trash.. do something.. anything at all..

silent tears.. and i heard my heart break one more time.. slower this time.. painfully..

i’ve just decided.. stand up and do the laundry.. for now, that’s the on thing my reality is allowing me to do.. and for now, that’s the only act i can do to prove that i still live..

saving this file.. saving the downloads.. shutting down the pc.. taking a deep breath one more time.. putting on the mask of a merry woman.. and now i’m ready to go out of my room.. pretend.. for awhile.. that while everybody has their own misery to tend, somehow, there’s something for me beyond the bend..